With the possible exception of cosmetic plastic surgery and dermatology, the world of medicine involves managing imperfection rather than aspiring to perfection, staving off the pathology of illness and death as long as possible, not worshiping a transcendent ideal.
We doctors know too much to worship a perfect body. The psychiatrists among us call this worship narcissism and strive instead to help patients accept themselves as they are.
In this sense, social media and internet applications are often our enemy.
It is disturbing to consider that both men and women on dating sites obsess over high earners with perfect looks and physiques. Relationships built on trust and a sense of humor are in jeopardy.
EXCESSIVE SOCIAL MEDIA USE HAS MANY OF THE SAME EFFECTS AS SUBSTANCE ABUSE, SAYS EXPERT
Many young women on social media are denigrating marriage, avoiding the traps of motherhood and a spouse. Women putting off marriage and a family for career pursuits is one thing, but to mock the “institution” is something else.
And the divisiveness of social media extends to the world of politics and hatred. One shocking example of this is from 2017 at a high school in California, where an Instagram account was rampant with racism, sexism and inappropriate mocking humor that led to a deeply divided town and multiple lawsuits.
Unfortunately, this is far from an isolated incident. It was and is far too easy to attack, bully and marginalize others who can’t hear or see you. The COVID pandemic made the problem far worse, as people were isolated in their bunkers with their cellphones and social media became their main method of communication with others.
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It wasn’t healthy, and the anxiety rate reflected it. Teenage girls were particularly susceptible. According to CDC data almost two-thirds experienced deep periods of loneliness and unhappiness in 2021 and one-third actually contemplated suicide as emergency room visits for mental health reasons among teens rose.
It would be too easy to blindly invite increased governmental oversight and regulation, but this knee-jerk approach would likely lead to more rebellious rejection and not improve the problem at all. I agree with Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy, who I have interviewed several times and who emphasizes overcoming loneliness and restoring connectivity as a way to provide an alternative to the unhealthy draw of social media platforms.
I also admire the efforts of Gov. Glenn Youngkin of Virginia, whose Right Help Right Now program is attempting to battle the growing alienation and mental health crisis worsened by the imposed isolation of the pandemic. He told me in an interview for Fox News last week that this isolation “is only exacerbated by the intrusion of social media in every aspect of so many Americans’ lives.”
Youngkin also said he feels strongly that “children belong to families, not to the state. And therefore, constantly making sure that parents are empowered and they have the right to make decisions with their child…. it’s imperative… We’ve got to save this generation that we’re at risk of losing. And at the heart of it is the role of parents in their children’s lives.”
Families, communities and in person friendships where our children, teens and young adults learn to accept and love each other “warts and all” are the best weapons to fight the pseudo-perfection of the internet and social media that is seducing and damaging our precious treasure.
