A mom writing on Reddit shared an unusual experience. She said her daughter was invited to join a friend on a family vacation to Costa Rica — but when her daughter returned, the mom was presented with a bill for the travel expenses from the other family.
The confused mother turned to social media to find out whether her shock over the situation was warranted.
On the social media platform, the mother wrote, “OK, so my daughter (16) went to Costa Rica with a friend and her parents & grandparents. I assumed they would only charge us for her food and activities like ziplining. Nope. They are asking for a portion of her accommodations and car rental as well.”
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Bewildered, the mother wondered on Reddit whether being invited meant that the basic costs of the trip were going to be covered by the parents of her friend.
The mom wrote, “Why on earth did I assume she was tagging along?”
She went on to share that she’s hosted other people’s children in a similar way — and thought that was the protocol.
“That’s what we did for my other daughter’s friend two years ago,” the mother continued.
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The mom appeared surprised by the hefty bill of charges she was presented with from the other family.
“I would never dream of charging so much when I was going [on a trip] anyway!”
Rather than cause a stir, the mother said she’s likely going to pay the tab to smooth things over and be done with it.
“We have the money, so this [isn’t going to] break me,” she wrote.
She said she wanted to handle the matter peacefully with the parents of her daughter’s friend.
“I just want to have a conversation,” added the diplomatic mom.
The Reddit community sounded off about her quandary.
A commenter named “Illustrious-Award-55” said it was not usual to be presented with a bill, but agreed with the mother’s decision to step up.
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“I think it’s weird to do that after the fact,” the person wrote.
“Lesson learned to talk about stuff ahead of time. The parent should just pay the bill and move on.”
Other commenters shared the philosophy of thanking the family for taking the child and paying back any expenses the family is seeking.
And the next time her daughter is “invited” on a family trip — people said she should turn down the invite.
“Pay it,” user “Consistent_Pay_74” wrote on the woman’s post.
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“Repeat your thanks for taking her and never allow her to do such a trip with ‘not family’ again,” this person wrote.
“Stay gracious but know that they’ve shown you who they are — and you should believe them. Tacky!”
Fox News Digital reached out to an etiquette expert about the issue.
To ensure that there’s clarity about money matters — and because there will be costs associated with a family taking another child along — the best course of action is to speak up about expectations, an expert said.
“If there are going to be costs, the host should make it clear up front,” said Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert and owner of the Protocol School of Texas in San Antonio.
She said an invitation is different than a vacation.
“Regarding the mother’s conundrum, some proactive discussions would have been a better route,” said Gottsman.
“Assumptions are dangerous,” she also said. “This girl’s parent or guardian would have been better served to ask what expenses [she] would be responsible for covering.”
But she also said the host family should have been more forthcoming about their intentions as well.
“They could ask for airfare in advance and help with accommodations and food, but a car rental is a stretch,” said Gottsman.
She said the most effective and polite way to address an invite from a friend’s family is to say, “Thank you for the invitation. What costs would we need to cover?”
The truth behind why parents allow their children to invite a friend on a trip isn’t a secret, said Gottsman.
“Usually, parents bring along a kid’s friend to make the trip more pleasurable for their own child. And, paying for some or all the expenses is not unusual,” she said.
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And while the issue of asking a friend’s parents to cover some of the costs is OK — timing matters.
“Budgets are different, but a host does not ask after the fact for money unless it was clearly communicated in advance,” Gottsman told Fox News Digital.
“The moral of the story is never assume anything when expenses are involved.”
Another important matter: Parents of the invited child should give their children a sum of money for any extras.
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“When you send your child off with another family, even if the other family has offered to cover most of the costs, it’s important to send enough spending money with your children so they can offer to pay their own way for particular activities, buy a treat or dessert for themselves and the other family members, or have spending money for souvenirs,” Gottsman said.
“You want to make sure your child feels comfortable and has some spending money in their wallet for an unexpected emergency.”
