Johnny Manziel still remembers the moment his football career went all wrong.
He remembers the lights and crowd of Radio City Music Hall in New York City on draft night 2014. He remembers the moment he walked on stage after getting drafted in the first round by the Cleveland Browns after a successful college career.
And more than anything else, he remembers the crippling depression that struck him afterward.
“I had the chance to walk across the stage at Radio City Music Hall and be a No. 1 draft pick in the NFL. I had everything in my life I could have ever wanted. I had money. I had fame. … And, for some reason, when I got there and I got everything that I wanted, I think that was truly the most empty I had ever felt inside,” Manziel said during a Q&A with students and recovery addicts at the annual VitAL health conference at the University of Alabama Monday in video obtained by Fox News Digital.
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“I think from there I started to really turn and isolate and focus on doing the wrong things, doing things that temporarily made me feel better, that temporarily made me happy. So, I learned slowly what depression was.”
At the time, Manziel was entering the NFL after two years of being one of the top stars in college football history. His two-year run at Texas A&M included a Heisman Trophy, a historically shocking win against Alabama, several broken records and a scandalous suspension for illegally signing autographs for money.
But his star dimmed quickly in Cleveland. Manziel checked into rehab in April 2015, just four months after the end of his rookie season. He was cut by the Browns in 2016, shortly after the end of his second season. His continued issues with alcohol and drugs reportedly factored heavily into his standing on the team.
Manziel says his drinking problems got worse when he struggled with football.
“As much as I loved football and as much as I was great at it, I think there was something else in college and high school that I got really good at, and that was partying,” Manziel said Monday. “I think, for me, as things started to go back in my football life, I turned to something else that I was really good at.”
Manziel’s NFL performance reflected the shift in his priorities. In just eight starts over two seasons, he went 2-6. His only two wins came in 2015 against a Tennessee Titans team that went 3-13 and a San Francisco 49ers team that went 5-11. Manziel finished with a career stat line of 1,675 yards passing yards with seven touchdowns, seven interceptions, a completion percentage of 57% and 22 sacks.
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Former Browns coach Mike Pettine, who was involved in the decision to draft Manziel, admitted to reporters in December 2015 that those problems weren’t visible to the Browns while the quarterback was still in college and that it seemed the team got a very different player than the one at Texas A&M.
“You see the reputation, what was out there,” Pettine said that year of Manziel’s pre-draft analysis. “I don’t think we anticipated his problems, his issues, how deep-rooted they were, the extent of it.”
The difference was Manziel had experienced depression after getting drafted by Cleveland.
In addition to alcohol, Manziel has said in the past that he lost 40 pounds in 2015 due to excessive use of cocaine.
In February 2018, during an interview with “Good Morning America,” however, Manziel said he was going fully sober.
“Alcohol was detrimental and drugs were detrimental to where I was trying to go in my life. I really didn’t see that until it was too late. The way I view things and the way I look at things now, it doesn’t have a place in my life. It doesn’t serve me any better. I’m not any better by going out and drinking or doing drugs,” Manziel said.
“I’m looking to live a healthier, more pure lifestyle, and it took me a long time to get to that point.”
Manziel will be joining The Action Network’s “Big Bets on Campus” podcast as a college football analyst this week, the company announced Wednesday.
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