Happy Tuesday, everyone. And what a great Tuesday it is. So SAG-AFTRA, the union for actors, claims that their profession is about as dead as a critic of Hillary Clinton. It all has to do with AI replacing real, live actors, which seems redundant of course, replacing Hollywood actors with artificial intelligence is like replacing Vin Diesel with Vin Diesel. But remember, they’ve done worse. They once replaced humans with “Real Housewives.” That didn’t turn out well. So here’s the union’s warning,”Without a transformative change, the acting profession will no longer be an option for future generations of performers and actors who will need to pursue other careers in order to survive.”
So we’re going to lose future generations of performers, which sucks. I was really looking forward to insulting Kilmeade’s grandkids. But it’s already happening. I had pizza delivered to my office today and this was the driver.
PICTURE OF GEORGE CLOONEY
So thanks to computers, acting could return to what it was originally – something anyone could do as a part-time job, like being an Uber driver or vice president. Now, if you’re not sure which side to take, let’s take a look at who’s defending the performers. None other than that bug-eyed alien Satan himself, Adam Schiff, who slinked out of his pod with just enough oxygen to blow it out his trap.
REP. ADAM SCHIFF: All too many people back in the Congress think that everyone who works in this industry is some multi-millionaire celebrity when the reality is these are folks that are just trying to put bread on the table, keep a roof over their head.
Fair enough. But they get no help from him, who made that state unlivable for everyone but the super rich. Former Paramount CEO Barry Diller is warning of an absolute collapse of an entire industry. So what’s the bad news? I mean, when cars replaced horses, I’m pretty sure the buggy whip industry collapsed, except for the ones I order every year for Leather Fest. Did I go too far? But that’s what happens when progress brings new options and you try to sell us old stories that are married to woke lectures. I mean, everything out of Tinsel Town is a more putrid version of something that we used to appreciate. They take something good and they turn it bad. Like what Kat did to her husband.
WOKE DISNEY: 10 FAMILIES WHO ARE SWEARING OFF DISNEY DUE TO ITS LEFT-LEANING POLITICS
And it’s not like the audience needs more content. Every year, Hollywood churns out more crap than “The View” during broccoli season. In 2022, they produced 599 scripted TV shows. If my math is correct, that’s almost 600. That’s up from 210 in 2009. It was so bad that during COVID, I started wearing my mask around my eyes. So maybe this strike is giving the audience a breather where we can catch up on what we should have watched years ago. Like The Rockford Files, the guy lived in a trailer in a parking lot. But unlike Jimmy Failla, he was only acting. Or Columbo, he always wore a raincoat, even when the sun was out. Fun fact, he did it to trap the farts. But imagine if they remade that. They’d call him Columba. And under that raincoat, he’d be wearing a thong. But now, minus ideas, they just pollute classics with politics. Like this.
That’s Disney’s upcoming live-action remake of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. And no, it’s not bigoted of me to say dwarfs. We get to say the D-word to each other. But it’s more like Snow Off-White with the seven guys from a drug rehab in Seattle. They look like the friends who say they just need a place to crash for a few days, and then they sell all your furniture for drugs. But those pics are so embarrassing. At first, Disney claimed they were fake, then they admitted they were real, but not official yet. Too bad Pinocchio didn’t make that statement. He would have been hired as the new spokesman for Viagra. But the woke are happy, changing everything. I can’t wait for Dumbo’s ear reassignment surgery. But mess with Snow White and they’re a product of their own demise. I mean, how can you have sympathy for this devil? I long for the good old days when Snow White and the Seven Dwarves really, really could say what they wanted. Remember this?
VIDEO SKIT OF SNOW WHITE
You got to hand it to them. They really did call the balls and strikes. Meanwhile, as Hollywood starves from creativity, they ignore “Sound of Freedom”— that’s the anti-child trafficking movie that’s outselling the big-budget bomb Indiana Jones and the Crystal Bedpan. The left hates it sight unseen because no Christians could be allowed to do entertainment. Meanwhile, they can’t do it either. Maybe they’re scared that the God-fearing folk figured it out and can do it better. And who knows? Maybe movies, just starring machines, well, that might really work out. Think of the romance.
VIDEO SKIT: They came from different sides of the kitchen. He was just a no-good down-on-his-luck toaster from Target. She was a sexy, unpredictable coffee maker from Crate and Barrel. And together, they made hot, sweet breakfast. But when a sleek microwave moved into town, things really started to heat up. Will someone get left out in the cold? Will this romance short circuit or will this unlikely trio prove that love can happen anywhere? Find out this summer in Continental Breakfast.
You don’t need people. But if Hollywood’s looking for love, they c[a]me to the wrong school board meeting. Regular people are tired of being talked down to about their beliefs, their jobs, and most of all, how they raise their dwarfs.
