A woman who said she’s getting married in December took to Reddit to ask if she was in the wrong for feeling frustrated with one of her bridesmaids and her complaints.
In the “r/Wedding” subreddit, the user explained that her bridesmaid had been complaining about her upcoming bachelorette trip for weeks.
“She does have to travel, but I picked a location that is drivable for most girls,” the Reddit user wrote. “With travel costs and her portion of the Airbnb costs together, her total cost was about $300.”
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The bride continued, “She’s been complaining to me recently about how she has no money because of my bachelorette [party] and that we need to do my bachelorette weekend on a budget because she doesn’t want to spend a lot.”
The bride pointed out that when the roles were reversed, she paid $700 for a flight and $300 for a hotel for the same bridesmaid’s bachelorette party destination.
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She said, “I understand not everyone’s financial situation is the same, but I’m just frustrated that I spent over $1,000 on her bachelorette and now my $300 bachelorette is an issue.”
After prompting the question of, “am I wrong to feel this way?” Reddit users responded in the comments section.
Many posts said that they understood the bride’s standpoint, with one saying, “Your feelings are valid. You’re the bride, so you should be able to choose the location of your bachelorette party.”
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Another user agreed and wrote, “Your friend needs to temper their expectations, given how much you spent to support them on their day!”
One Redditor went against the others and said, “You shouldn’t do something for someone with the expectation that they do it back for you.”
“Resentfully saying ‘yes’ only so that you can feel owed a ‘yes’ in return in the future is some really toxic relationship attitude,” the user added.
Another Reddit user agreed and said, “Regardless of how much you spent on hers, you don’t know your friend’s financial situation. If this is truly a hardship for her, it’s wrong of you to expect her to spend money she doesn’t have. Talk to her as a friend, not a bride.”
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California-based etiquette expert Rosalinda Randall told Fox News Digital that the bride is not wrong to feel frustrated or a little insulted.
“Asking a bride to consider other options to fit into a bridesmaid’s budget is pushing the friendship boundaries,” she said. “If $300.00 is not within your means, be honest and say so.”
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However, Randall also said it’s not a good idea for the bride to compare the two bachelorette party trips.
“Making comparisons or keeping track of who spent how much is never good for a relationship,” Randall said.
She added, “Throwing it in her face now will only make the bridesmaid feel small and possibly make you, the bride, look like you’re expecting payback.”
Randall recommended the bride tell the bridesmaid that she will be missed if she decides not to come on the trip, and that the two of them can plan something local together to celebrate her upcoming nuptials.
Fox News Digital reached out to the Reddit user for comment.
